Happiness: It's easy as 1-2-3

There's a lot written about happiness. You can pick up any number of books on the subject-Gretchen Rubin has created a whole brand around happiness- or you can read an unlimited supply of online articles. I've always been interested by the idea that you can make yourself happier, so I began to explore this a bit further. As I did, I noticed a trend among the healthy living blogs and websites. I love reading positive, uplifting content on the web because it just makes me feel good, ahem, happy. I really enjoy the site, Positively Positive. What's not to love about the tag line: Your Attitude+Your Choices=Your Life. Love that. When I'm reading Positively Positive or another lifestyle site like, Mind Body Green, for example, it's hard not to notice a common thread. 15 Tips for Public Speaking that Apply to Shining at Work and Just About Everywhere Else. 5 Ways to Become an Effective Parent. 4 Tips to Regain your Sanity. 10 Steps to Manifest Abundance. You get the picture. Can happiness, abundance, and wellness be this easy to achieve? Psychologically, there must be something to the numbers. Perhaps it's the suggestion that you can be confident and shine at work, manifest abundance, be more sane, etc. if you just master 4, 10, or 15 steps. It's kind of like the shiny lure bobbing just beneath the water's surface hoping to catch the fish; and even though I know it's not as easy as 1-2- 3,  I have to admit I am a sucker for a cool picture that makes me want to go into a wheat field and practice yoga, and a headline that reads,  "10 Tools for Everyday Happiness."  I decided to give the tips a try.

These tips on how to feel good every day are pulled from the article here. 

1.  Meditate fifteen to thirty minutes per day. Plug into Source.

Me: I wish! I even downloaded a Meditation Helper App for my phone and a mindfulness bell. I know 15 minutes isn't a long time, but I just haven't found a way to make it work. My tip: Find 5 minutes to quiet your mind. (I like to find my 5 minutes sitting in the car just before I pick my son up from preschool.) If you can't quiet your mind, use those 5 minutes to think about what is good in your life and what you are grateful for. I feel bad when I can't manage 15 minutes of meditation. I feel good when I consistently do 5. Pick the time that works for you.

2. Set your intention for the day. What quality do you want to show up with today? (e.g. grace, courage, joy, self-acceptance…)

Me: Ooh, boy. This takes some serious mindfulness. I usually wake up to a dog that needs to go outside and a kid who wants me to make pancakes. My tip: If it works for you, great. I don't find it makes a difference.

3. EXERCISE! Run, walk, yoga, weights, Pilates…Get your motor running (minimum thirty minutes). Power up your endorphins. Train your body to recognize and imprint feeling good.

Me: Totally agree here. I feel bad when I don't make time to take care of my body. When I move, I feel better. Some days I have a crappy workout, which use to make me feel like I either wasted my time or should have worked out harder, but this tip reminds me that what matters is movement, not intensity. My tip: Make time to move in any way that works for your life. I love the idea of sweating it out in a high intensity spin class, but that's just not me. Even if your movement is taking the stairs at work and walking after dinner, just move.

4. Gratitude. First thing in the morning: Pray in gratitude for all your gifts. Be thankful for waking up with a healthy body and mind clear enough to do this exercise. Last thing at night: Review your day and all the good things that happened. Build your gratitude muscle and train your mind to focus on the good. (Are you alive? Do you have clean water? Do you live in a peaceful land?)
Me: I love this idea, but it's tough for me to be consistent either because hubby wants to watch a Walking Dead episode or it's Wednesday and American Idol is on. My tip: Put a notepad or journal by your bed and before you sleep write down your prayers and acknowledge what is good in your life. In the morning, before you get out of bed, say to yourself,  "Thank you for this bed and this healthy body." 

5. Listen to uplifting, inspirational speakers on your iPod, while you’re working out, driving, on the subway, etc. (e.g. Abraham Hicks, Ram Dass, Dr. Michael Beckwith, Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer). Be careful what you’re filling your head with. Choose nutritious brain food.
Me: These modern day gurus are very inspiring and choosing these folks over the Nightly News is definitely more uplifting, but do so with moderation. My tip: The internet makes accessing inspirational content easy. It can be easy to fall into the category of Spiritual Materialism or Self-help Junkie, when in truth, everything we seek is already within ourselves. There is merit to cutting out the negativity and replacing it with uplifting talks and reading, but don't let it replace your own intuition and voice inside.

6. Drink a green vegetable juice. You know the deal. Alkalizing your body boosts your mood and immune system. Only good can come from this.
Me: As a Holistic Nutrition Specialist, drinking green is so good for you. But so is eating green. My tip: If green juice and green smoothies aren't your thing or aren't part of your routine just yet, eat them. A diet that is plant strong with whole grains and clean protein will have the same affect of boosting mood, increasing energy, and making you feel lighter and happier.

7. Sit quietly in the sun for a few minutes. Remember who you are. Bask.
Me: I'll do this when I'm practicing yoga in the wheat field! Kidding aside, I put this in the category of finding your 5 mindful minutes. My tip: Don't feel bad if you pass up the basking for standing around with your mommy friends while your kids play together at the park. 

8. Journal about your dreams, desires, the life you are creating. Think of journaling as turning on the faucet and letting your mind flush out. Dump any thoughts. Stream of consciousness. I like to think of this as skimming the pond scum off the surface layer of your mind.
Me: Yes. Yes. Yes. Skim the pond scum!

9. Play great, uplifting music, sing along, dance! (The proven, fastest way to change your mood, open the heart, and free the mind, a.k.a. Bhakti Yoga.)
Me: Fact: Daft Punk's "Get Lucky" makes me want to move. My tip: Find the music that makes you want to do the same and then grab your kids or partner and sing out loud. It's silly. My kid and husband refuse to go along but they start smiling, and so will you.

10. Reach out to a loved one or friend just to say hello or catch up.
Me: When we feel connected, our mood improves. There are days that go by where my only connection is saying "hi" to another parent at preschool drop off or pick up, so when I catch up with my girlfriends or have a play date with another mom, my mood and attitude totally improves.  My tip: Lay off Facebook and schedule a date with a friend-in person or on the phone. Create standing dates so "where does the time fly" is never an excuse to connect. 

My verdict: Of all the lists out there, I'd say this one is pretty legit, albeit with a few modifications.   So what is your formula for adding more joy to your life? Did this list of feel good tips leave anything out?

Does Your Productivity Affect Your Mood?

Is anyone else's mood tied to their productivity? Wednesdays are my extended day when my son is picked up by my mother, giving me from 9-3 to work on Willpower Wellness. I find myself totally blah by the end of the day when all I've managed to accomplish is a two sentence Facebook post, some professional reading, and managing the RSVP list to my son's birthday party.  My kitchen table is stacked with tons of inspiration and yet all I can think about is whether the rug in my bedroom would look better in my living room.

I've always been a "sign" girl, that is, I'm quick to interpret things that are out of the ordinary or that work hard to get my attention as a sign from the Universe. Of course not all signs are meaningful, but sometimes they are. For me, some of the signs that stand out, especially in retrospect, are the time when a hawk flew in front of my window, perched and looked at me before flying away. Then there was the time when my midwife was confirming my miscarriage and a red cardinal kept tapping on the glass of the third floor window until we opened the blinds to see it. I'll never forget driving home one afternoon after picking my son up from preschool and seeing a tarantula crossing the road in front of my car. How bizarre and unusual, right? I mean a tarantula?

Not all of my signs have been animals. When I began to notice repeat numbers often, I looked up their significance. Every time I looked at a clock I'd see 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 5:55 or 11:11. A text message might come through at 1:11, the display on my dash says 2:22, the gas just happens to be 3:33, etc.  After a while, my friend Virginia, who is an incredibly gifted intuitive coach, recommended a deck of Oracle cards. I'd never worked with or heard of Oracle cards. They reminded me of Tarot cards, which I have always thought to be a bit too gypsy for me personally. Despite my skepticism,  I felt like the Universe was trying to get my attention, and oh by the way, I'm also at a point in my career where I'm trying not to let my own insecurity and fear obstruct following a path that is truly an extension of myself. To say I've been seeking some guidance from somewhere "out there" would probably be an understatement. Maybe these Oracle cards could give me some insight.

I chose the Ascended Masters deck of cards because of all the repeating numbers, I tend to see 333 the most, which according to angel numbers mean the Ascended Masters are near you. It's worth noting that before this, I didn't even know what an Ascended Master was and I certainly am not up on all the angels out there, but I decided to keep an open mind with these cards.

So what do Oracle cards have to do with productivity? I've been feeling a bit down today. I'm trying to create content for my website, but the creative juices are just not flowing. I'm reminded of Anne Lamott's book on writing, Bird by Bird when she discusses how even the best writers will often sit painfully staring at their computers willing the words to write themselves only to find themselves staring blankly out the window. That's how I feel today, so I pulled out my cards. "Focus on your strengths" really spoke to me. I've been trying to figure out a way to make a professional looking graphic but powerpoint is just not working for me, and I absolutely have no desire to fiddle fart around with SmartArt to find the right shapes to work. Apollo reminds me to Be Alex. Do what I'm good at, and I am definitely NOT good at powerpoint, graphics, or creating marketing material. Thoth encourages me to "write", which is why I'm penning this post. Manjushri tells me to "listen," and when I do I hear the words of Apollo. Be Alex. Be Alex. Do what you're good at. Stop wasting your time with the other stuff. It doesn't have to be perfect. Wait-what? Hello, internal self. Yes, it doesn't have to be perfect to be productive.  Just be you. 

Love the skin you're in

I have a love/hate relationship with my skin. On the one hand, being fair skinned means that I've been pretty good about sunscreen over the years so I'd like to think I have fewer wrinkles and sun damage. On the other hand, being fair skinned means I NEVER tan, so I'm always a sucker for the latest self-tan products, most of which look like I applied them without proper exfoliation.

One of the blessings of growing older is that those dreadful hormonal years of my youth are behind me, along with the angry pimples and prescription acne creams. Yet, just when I thought my thirties were the benchmark for clearer skin, I happen to look closely in the mirror after washing my face  one night and noticed an all out assault of blackheads lurking just below my skin. At first I'm like, it's okay they are just blackheads, but then I google "lots of blackheads," and realize they are just a different kind of pimple, but a pimple they are!

Okay, I know you're looking at this picture and you're like, what pimples?! It's the lighting. My skin is so dry and blotchy and what you don't see in addition to the gajillion blackheads is that I also have these small white and red bumps on my chin, smile line, between my eyebrows and around my eyes. When my skin is a mess, it totally bums me out. My latest flare up left me perplexed. I'm a sucker for product packaging so I've tried high end, low end, and everything in between. I finally google "tiny red bumps on smile line" and bam, there's all these blogs dedicated to the same thing! I self-diagnose Perioral Dermatitis or PD. No one seems to know what causes it and no one seems to know what clears it up (save yourself the trip to the dermatologist).  This blog gave me some natural solutions like Apple Cider Vinegar. The findings:  YUCK! Not only does it burn like hell, but I could barely stand the smell of myself. Another solution was to STOP exfoliation. The findings: This goes against nearly every fiber in my body especially with dry flaky skin, but I did lay off the scrub successfully. A third solution was to stop wearing make up and do as little as possible to your skin. The findings: After going back and forth between tinted concealers and various foundations, I found I was unable to go cold turkey on a completely unmade face, but I did stay true my Bare Minerals make-up, which true or not, I felt was better for my skin than the alternatives. 

The results: The PD ultimately went away, either on its own or through some combination of the above, but the blackheads persisted. At one point I swear nearly every single one of my pores was suffocating under a tarmac of black oily dirt.

Here's what finally worked for me:

1. I've kept on using my Aveeno Oatmeal Moisturizing Bar soap as a cleanser. It's cheap, does not dry my skin, and gets rid of most of my eye make-up.

2.  I started an exfoliating regimen inspired by Giada in her new cookbook Feel Good Food. She uses a rice flour/olive oil blend each night. Anxious to give it a try, I turned to what was in my pantry, which was NOT rice flour. I did have oatmeal so I blended it up to make a coarse flour and mixed with olive oil. It felt like coarse sand with crushed shells in it, which didn't feel very good on my face. Not wanting to waste the mash, I thought it would make an excellent body scrub in the morning. Wrong again. Not only did my shower look like someone vomited all over, it smelled like my son when he use to eat oatmeal every morning, with most of the oatmeal mashed into his hair, face, and clothes. I'll keep the oatmeal in my face bar.  

Next I tried a blend with chickpea flour, which I happened to have in my pantry after another home facial mentioned by Dr. Oz. . The Dr. Oz blend seriously made my face look like a oompa loompa because it had turmeric in it, but when I mixed the chickpea flour simply with olive oil, it was quite nice. It didn't have the grit I was expecting, and it did make me smell like a legume afterward, but it left my skin feeling really great.  

Lastly, after a trip to Whole Foods, I tried Giada's actual recipe of 3 tablespoons rice flour with 2 tablespoons olive oil. This felt like fine sand and seems to be the happy medium. Despite the daily exfoliation, my skin feels awesome. My pores are actually smaller.

3. Afterward, Giada says she always splashes with cold water to seal up her pores. I do this, plus swab Witch Hazel across my face for extra measure. 

4. The last thing I do- and I really think this has been the game changer-I switched to a water based moisturizer by Kiehls. I use the Ultra Facial Cream at night and the daytime version with SPF 30 during the day. 

The most expensive part of this regime is the under eye cream, also from Kiehl's, but I swear it too has made a difference in the lines under my eyes and my crows feet. It's $40. Ouch. I know. Although, considering my cleansing bar is $3.50, the rice flour paste is pennies, the astringent is $5.00, and the moisturizer is $26; I felt there was room to splurge on the area that shows my age most-especially in the name of self-care.